Guess who? Ha. It's Cecil, once again. In case you have been living under a rock, or were just unaware, today is only two days before our glorious Thanksgiving holiday! I've noticed a strange phenomenon during this time of year--people start catching bad cases of nostalgia...And, well, I'm riddled with it.
This morning I was thumbing through some photographs* and journal entries from ages ago, and remembering the fond holiday-time memories from college. So many things came flooding back, so I must share one quick story. If you would like to skip the story, and get to the pertinent information, just scroll down to the second dashed line.
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Dear Diary, (So what?! I have a diary, OK?)
I can't believe that I get to home for the holidays in a couple days!! I'm practically beside myself! As a last hurrah, I went to In-N-Out really late Thursday night after working up a gargantuan appetite playing hymns on the piano. I can't believe the holidays
Let me just preface this story by saying that I don’t get out much, but I think after my experience on the eve of Friday, I will just stay in my apartment and practice archaic forms of music. Twelve-thirty rolled around, and fate found me at In-N-Out.
Under the badgering of my dear roommate, I ordered a four-by-four, fries and a drink. “Cecil, you can’t do it. There’s no way, man, especially if you order it with fries and a drink. You’re all talk.”
“I just have one thing to say. You underestimate the power of Cecil G. Smith!” I nervously awaited my turn to order.
“What would you like, sir?”
“I’d like a four by four, please,” I said with confidence, pausing to shoot my friends a glance. “Oh, I also need some fries and a drink.”
I took a seat at one of the cold cement tables, with my four patties of bovine betwixt the delicately-placed pieces of all-American cheddar cheese. I immediately began devouring the tasty morsel, because I thought if I ate quickly, my stomach wouldn’t realize how much food was actually there. Surprisingly, I downed the burger without too much trouble, and had started into the fries when my stomach realized the torturous things I was doing to him.
Halfway through the fries, I began to have my doubts, though I showed no fear. My roommate initiated the cheering at this point. His one-word, inspirational chant of “GO!" pushed me to completion.
Just then, the table of off-duty nurses sitting next to us (who had obviously just come from their favorite watering hole) took notice of the history being made. “He’s eating four patties,” my stomach screeched.
One of the nurses walked over and started talking to me.
He opened with, “Pardon my Yiddish, but..."
"Oh, here we go," I thought.
"Where do you gold-fishing put it?! Do you Tuesdaying have a Dolly-Partoning hollow leg?! I mean ... yellow, man!”
He proceeded in his loud, vulgar firing of questions seasoned with the choicest words. The man grabbed a handful of his stomach matter as a visual preparation for his next statement. “Dude, like my Babylonianing stomach is as big as your Three-Musketeering head!”
By this time I had finally put down the meal in its entirety. (I don’t think there was ever a prouder moment in my life.) The man’s adjectives were getting a little too varied for me, so we hoisted anchor and set sail into the night.
In all honesty, I didn’t feel very good. As soon as I got back to the apartment, my roommates sent me to bed, periodically checking on my throughout the night, assuring that I didn’t go into cardiac arrest. And so ends my tale.
Until next time, Adieu.
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ALL OF THAT TO SAY, FROM THOSE OF US AT T/S CARPET & DESIGN CENTER:
Have a HAPPY, healthy THANKSGIVING!
CREATE SOME OF YOUR OWN FOND HOLIDAY MEMORIES!

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*Photo illustration courtesy of Kenton Jacobsen.